


Standing On Our Own

by ImperfectOrphanage



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-16 16:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9279731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperfectOrphanage/pseuds/ImperfectOrphanage
Summary: Joshua needed inspiration, but he found more than that in a boy named Neku.---Based on Prompt #8 from @spitsplash on Tumblr:Joshua is a writer with writer's block and Neku sings-horribly-for money near Hachiko.





	1. Chapter 1

 

Part One – Family

 

 

Blink, blink, blink.

Joshua stared at the computer screen with narrowed eyes. He bounced a pencil in his mouth, eraser end clamped between his front teeth. It was quiet in the cramped apartment and it didn’t help his mood. Outside of the window he faced was an array of power and telephone lines where many birds hopped.

“What to do…” he said aloud, letting the pencil fall from his mouth to the desk and under. “Hanekoma is going to kill me.”

A door slammed in the hallway. Joshua hated living in such a tiny apartment in a crowded complex surrounded by small families and college students. It rankled in him and he shut his laptop with a growl.

He needed air-and maybe a salad. Grabbing his coat from the back of his chair he tugged it on and pulled a scarf around his neck. A pair of purple earmuffs slid over his head and he adjusted them around the curves of his ears.

His wallet and keys were on the table next to the door and he stuffed them in his pockets as he left, letting the door lock behind him. The hallway was filled with leaves from the breezeway and the sound of children playing in the courtyard below.

It was far too cold outside to be Shibuya. He exhaled a cloud of breath as he hurried down the metal stairs to the sidewalk.

“Kiryu-san!”

Joshua turned toward the crowd of children. Though he didn’t particularly like children, he didn’t mind watching them for the single mothers in the complex. He forced a smile and knelt down as a little boy ran up to him with a ball.

“Can you play with us? We’re down one person.”

“Unfortunately, I cannot. I haven’t met my deadline. Perhaps this weekend if my editor hasn’t murdered me in cold blood.”

The child giggled. “You’re so weird. Bye-bye, Kiryu-san!”

Joshua waved as the boy rejoined the group. The children laughed as they kicked the ball around.

Standing up, he walked away from the children and headed down the street toward the Scramble Crossing to lose himself in the noise. The crowd surged around him as he crossed the street. Hachiko was close by and often Joshua liked to sit and people watch.

But today, there was the sound of a dying animal in the air. He winced and stood up on his tiptoes to see over the crowd. A boy stood near the statue with a poorly tuned guitar and a song in his voice.

“Dear God,” Joshua said under his breath, “what the hell is he doing?”

“Oh!” The orange haired boy shouted. “Come and meet me at Udagawa~”

A random person in the crowd screamed, “I’d rather not, you suck!”

Joshua frowned. He didn’t like the boy’s singing but it didn’t serve anyone to be rude about it.

“Fuck you!” The boy shouted back before falling into the broken chorus of an unfamiliar song. He stood next to an open guitar case with about two yen inside.

“Oh, dear,” Joshua sighed. He dug in his pockets and tossed several yen into the case as he passed. Taking a seat, he watched as the boy winked at him and continued singing. Joshua giggled behind a hand. What a sweet boy.

“I’m just a lonely guy,” he wailed, “lookin’ for the right side~”

Joshua shuddered. It didn’t even rhyme.

“Come and meet me at Udagawa~” The boy strummed the guitar with a worn pick. His hands were covered in a set of ratty, fingerless gloves and his coat had seen better days. The beanie on his head had a huge hole in the band and his messy hair cascaded from underneath.

Though Joshua usually only made enough to pay for necessary expenses with his columns, he did have a fund in a coffee can for surprises. Perhaps he could lend the kid a hand.

The song stopped and the boy cleared his throat with a deep cough. He set the guitar against the statue and bent down to count the coins in his case. With a laugh, he pocketed the coins and put his guitar into the case with a snap of the locks.

Joshua didn’t want to see him go. He was interesting.

“I’ll be here all week!”

Again, a random stranger shouted back, “I won’t be!”

Joshua laughed.

It brought attention to him. The boy frowned, arched one eyebrow, and stuck his hand out. “Oi, thanks for the money.”

His fingers were dirty and calloused. Joshua hesitated before taking the hand to shake.

“It’s alright. I had a little extra this month and you need it more than I.”

“I don’t need charity,” the kid snorted, “but whatever. My name’s Neku.”

“Neku? How cute,” Joshua laughed. “You may call me Joshua.”

“Cool. Are you gonna be here tomorrow? Maybe I could bum a few dollars from you.”

Joshua shook his head. “I came by to clear my head.”

“Too bad your head isn’t the same as your complexion.”

It took a moment for Joshua to understand he was complimenting Joshua’s smooth skin. “Uh, thank you? I think?”

Neku grinned broadly. He had coffee stains on his teeth. “No problem. I gotta get home.”

“Yes, of course.” Joshua stood, bowed to Neku, and watched as he wandered into the crowd.

Though it wouldn’t do a bit of good for his monthly column, Joshua was inspired to write on his novel for the first time in forever. He took a deep breath, tucked his face deep into his scarf, and followed behind the bright orange hair.

Perhaps he could come by tomorrow. But for tonight, Joshua wanted to make sure his muse returned home safely.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Neku threw the door to the old warehouse open. He stepped inside and pulled it shut behind him. There were several others who shared the space. Up in the rafters he could see Kariya leaned against a beam with a lollipop in his mouth and his arms behind his head. Neku smiled and went further into the abandoned metalworks building. He settled on a broken couch with two loose springs and set his guitar case on the floor.

A radio in the distance was blaring popular music and the smell of food cooking over a fire filled the musty air. Neku fell back on the couch and sighed in exhaustion. He’d been singing all day and his throat hurt. It was less because of his singing and more because he was still fighting a bout of bronchitis.

“Hey, you make anythin’, Sakuraba?”

Neku opened one eye to see Sho Minamimoto standing above him. “I made like…ten yen.”

“Sweet. We can buy some potatoes.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Neku closed his eyes and coughed. “Y’got anymore of that medicine?”

Sho sat down on the couch and it bounced under Neku. He dug in his pocket and pulled out a bottle of amber liquid. “It’s my special formula.”

“What did you do this time?”

“If my calculations are correct, it’ll subtract your cough in no time.”

Neku shook his head. He took a sniff of the medicine and gasped. It smelled of rot and vinegar, but it was the only thing they could afford. He downed the concoction and gagged. “T-thanks, I think.”

“No problem, little digit. I’ll get some more tomorrow after I get paid.”

“Yeah,” Neku sighed, the medicine was warm in his belly.

Sho had been a university professor years ago, but he’d suffered a mental breakdown and was fired. He worked odd jobs and tutored several students for reduced rates. It wasn’t much, but it kept them warm and fed. Neku had tried to find a job but many of the stores told him he ‘didn’t fit’.

He knew it was because of his health and the way he dressed.

The medicine spread through his body faster than he expected. It was probably because he hadn’t had food since the day before, and because Sho snuck drugs into the drink. Neku felt light and he fell asleep rather quickly to dream.

He could hear the others in the distance and it lulled him into security.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joshua found himself at the statue of Hachiko once again.

It had been two weeks and he came every day around five o’clock to watch the people and to listen to Neku’s horrible singing. For some reason it made Joshua’s soul warm. He had taken to recording Neku on a pocket recorder to listen to later.

“You an’ me,” Neku sang, “comin’ together~”

Joshua smiled. He wrote a few sentences on a legal pad to line out his article.

“I think we could be-“

The music stopped. Joshua snapped his head up.

Neku had a hand to his chest and he coughed hard into a handkerchief. His face was flushed with the cold and possibly a fever, and he sat down hard with the guitar still around him. He continued to cough, and his hands shook as he tried to breathe.

“Are you well?” Joshua leaned forward. There were tears in Neku’s eyes.

“I-I’m fine. I just have a cough-“ he said, gasping. “I’m okay.”

“No, no, you’re not.” Joshua tucked his work into his over the shoulder satchel and knelt down next to the boy. He placed a hand on Neku’s dirt streaked forehead and squeaked. “You have a fever! What are you doing out in this weather? C’mon, I’ve got to get you to a doctor.”

“No! I don’t have the money for it. I just need some medicine,” he begged. “I can get it at home. Don’t take me to a doctor.”

“I don’t care what you want.” Joshua removed Neku’s guitar with little argument and placed it into the case. He lifted it up as he stood and he offered a hand to Neku. “You can either come willingly or I’ll wait until you collapse and drag you.”

Neku coughed back a laugh. He took Joshua’s hand and stood up. “Fine. But I’ll pay you back, I promise. It just might take a year or so.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Joshua said. He removed the scarf from around his neck to curl around Neku’s shoulders. “There’s a clinic nearby that I frequent.”

The boy didn’t say anything. He wheezed, coughed, and leaned against Joshua.

Joshua felt sick in his stomach and his heart. It was obvious the kid had no formal care and from where Joshua had seen him go every night, he was homeless as well. He had to do something for him. If it weren’t for Neku, he would have missed his past two deadlines.

“Excuse me,” Joshua said as he entered the clinic, “my friend needs to see a doctor.”

There was a cheery nurse with pink hair behind the counter. She slid a clipboard across the counter for Joshua. “Take a seat and I’ll get you registered, alright?”

“C’mon, Neku. Sit here,” he whispered, helping the boy sit. “You’re burning up.”

“I’m cold,” Neku shivered, “so cold.”

Joshua quickly filled out the paperwork with his name and address. He only knew Neku’s first name-and not wanting to bother him-he wrote down Kiryu for the last. Hopefully the nurse wouldn’t be too curious, considering she worked for Joshua’s adoptive father.

The nurse came up to him to take the paperwork. She glanced as Neku and frowned. “Poor guy. Follow me and the doctor will see you as soon as he can.”

Wrapping an arm under Neku’s arms, he pulled the boy up and helped him down the hall to a room. There was a bed and two chairs, and Joshua urged Neku to lay down.

“I’m fine,” he whispered. “I don’t need to be here.”

“Shut up,” Joshua spat back, “you’re sick.”

“And you’re an asshole.”

Joshua shook his head. The nurse left the room after taking Neku’s pulse and temperature.

Several minutes ticked by. Joshua listened to the rattling sound of Neku’s breaths and he couldn’t get comfortable in either chair. The room was too small to pace in, so he walked circles.

The door squeaked open and the doctor entered with a grin. “Howdy, Josh. I didn’t expect to see you here so soon. Are your medicines not working?”

“It…” he glanced at Neku, “it isn’t about me. He’s sick, Father.”

“Hm, he looks homeless.” Joshua’s father leaned over Neku and put the stethoscope to his chest. “This isn’t good. He might have pneumonia. I’ll have to get him to the hospital.”

“Father I can’t afford-“

“I’ll take care of it. I wish you would let me take care of you.” His father placed a hand on his shoulder. “Joshua, you can come home whenever you wish.”

“I have to stand on my own, Father.”

Neku moaned and coughed. It brought their attention back to the sick boy on the bed.

“Never mind, son. I’ll call the hospital and they’ll take him in. Do you want to ride along?”

“Yes, please,” he said, and reached out to take Neku’s hand. “I found him singing at Hachiko and I’m drawn to him. He’s a terrible singer.”

His father smiled knowingly. “I understand. Wait here, okay?”

Joshua nodded as his father left the room. He squeezed Neku’s hand. “It’s alright, Neku. You’re going to be just fine.”

The boy blinked his eyes half open and he cracked a smile. “You’re pretty, you know that?”

Joshua felt a flush on his face. “N-neku…”

Blue eyes fluttered shut and Neku fell into a mumbling sleep.

“Just hang on, alright?” Joshua touched the boy’s face. He was incredibly hot and dry. Neku’s breath smelt odd, almost earthy, and his skin was pale under the dirt smeared on his cheeks.

Joshua hoped he wasn’t too late to help the boy.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of a beeping monitor was the first thing Neku was aware of. There were lights above and the sound of many people talking in the background. His chest hurt and his throat ached as if something was inside of it.

Oh. It was a ventilator.

“Neku?” Joshua’s voice. “Are you alright, Neku? Don’t fight it. You’re very ill.”

He turned his gaze to Joshua. The boy was worried and his eyes were wide with fear. Neku blinked his eyes to tell Joshua he was alright. He tilted his eyes toward the ventilator and back to Joshua.

“Your lungs had a lot of fluid. They were able to drain it, but you stopped breathing. I’m sure you’ll be able to breathe on your own now that you’re conscious.” Joshua settled back down in his chair. “I was worried about you. Your fever was very high and you’ve been out for almost a week.”

Neku blinked, eyes wide. He wanted to talk.

Joshua seemed to notice. He handed his legal pad and a pencil to Neku. “Here, write.”

His hands were shaky and weak, but he managed to scrawl, “money”.

“Don’t worry about it. My father is a doctor at the clinic and though I hate depending on him for money he’s offered to cover your expenses.”

Neku shook his head and scribbled, “no, don’t”.

“Shut up, Neku,” Joshua huffed. He yanked the paper away. “If you’re going to be difficult-“

He tugged the pad back toward him to write, “you shut up”.

Joshua pulled on the pad and Neku pulled back. They fought over the yellow legal pad until laughter from the hallway interrupted them.

“Hey, kiddo,” a tall, gruff man who smelled of coffee and cigarettes stood in the doorway, “I thought I’d find ya here. Yer not answerin’ your email.”

Tearing the pad away from Neku, Joshua sighed heavily. “I’m sorry, Sanae. I am working on it.”

“Good. So this is the guy who’d distracted you? He looks like shit.”

Neku glared at the man. He wanted to tell him to fuck off and get a shave.

“Sanae, don’t be rude. Neku is doing much better than he was. Aren’t you, Neku?” Joshua adjusted the blankets around him and dabbed at Neku’s face with a tissue. He appeared to be overly concerned and Neku felt bad for being an asshole.

“Is he gonna be in here for long?” The coffee man leaned over Neku. “He’s cute. Ya gonna keep ‘im like a puppy?”

Neku shoved his fingers in Sanae’s face-specifically the middle ones.

“Damn, kid,” the man laughed boisterously, “y’don’t have to say that twice.”

Joshua giggled. It sounded like bells to Neku. “I’m not going to keep him. However, he does need someone to watch over him once they do release him from the hospital.”

Neku waved his arms in disagreement.

“Don’t argue with me,” Joshua said sternly. “My father said if you don’t come home with me, he’s going to have the doctor in charge leave you in here for another month.”

Shit. Neku growled around the ventilator.

“Ah, right,” Sanae said, “I brought a present. ‘ere.”

He produced a small teddy bear with a gold ribbon and set it on the bedside table next to a small, potted plant. Neku assumed the plant must have come from Joshua. It had orange and green leaves.

A nurse walked into the room with a nod to the coffee man and Joshua. She checked Neku’s vitals and the medicine drip before gently touching his face. “I’ll have the doctor come by to see if we can take that out, alright? Just relax.”

Neku blinked his eyes and the nurse smiled. She stroked a hand through his messy hair and turned to leave the room. Outside, Neku could see people walking up and down the hall. He wasn’t sure what hospital he was in, but it must have been expensive. The thought made his head hurt. He could never pay Joshua back for the help.

The coffee guy-Sanae, was it?-sat next to the bed on the opposite side from Joshua. He crossed his arms over his vested chest and put one leg over the other. “Do ya make it a hobby ta rescue strangers?”

Joshua looked up from his legal pad. He had returned to writing when the nurse came in. “Hm? Oh, no, I don’t. Neku is…well, to be honest, he’s been a muse to me.”

A muse? Neku turned his head slightly to watch Joshua. What did he mean by a muse?

“I had the most severe writers block,” Joshua explained, head down, “and the moment I saw him caterwauling in the street I felt compelled to work on my book.”

Neku closed his eyes. He didn’t know much about the guy who had come by every day for the past couple of weeks. Joshua always left at least seven yen, and he smiled while drawing and writing in one of his many legal pads. Neku had seen a few of his drawings, and though they were sub par at best, they were filled with life.

The doctor-who wasn’t Joshua’s father-entered the room and grinned at Neku. It wasn’t a genuine smile at all. He was tired and his eyes were red from not sleeping. The doctor called a nurse in and they worked at getting the ventilator out of Neku.

The ordeal made Neku dizzy. He coughed a few times and swallowed hard. The nurse let him suck on ice chips but she wouldn’t let him have any water. Neku grumbled as he listened to the doctor explain what had happened. There was fluid in Neku’s lungs and they were able to drain it with a needle, but his lung collapsed and that was the reason he was on the ventilator. He had a rather nasty case of viral pneumonia, but he was no longer contagious and could be released to Joshua’s care within the day. First, they wanted to make sure he could breathe on his own and that his oxygen saturation stayed normal.

Neku nodded at the instructions to take his medication and rest. Try not to cough, get plenty of fluids, don’t eat solid food just yet, and stay in bed if possible. Neku made a mental note to ignore all of it.

There was no way he could afford it, and his family needed his support as soon as possible.

“Don’t worry, sir,” Joshua said, reaching out to take Neku’s hand in his, “I’ll watch over him.”

Neku was about to lay into him but a soft beeping from under Joshua’s shirt made the guy pull away with a curse. He apologized and left the room.

The nurse and the doctor left Neku with Sanae, and the air was tense. Neku didn’t know the man.

“He’s alright, kiddo. Josh’s got his own problems,” he explained. “Try not to piss ‘im off. He doesn’t need the stress and he does care about you.”

“How the hell,” Neku rasped, “do you know?”

“I’ve known the kid fer years. I’m his editor, but I also know his father. Josh was,” he paused, looked behind him, and exhaled, “he was adopted. It wasn’t easy. His parents couldn’t afford his medical care and they just…dropped him at the door of the clinic and disappeared. If it hadn’t been for his father, the kid woulda died.”

Neku scrunched his face up. “He looks fine to me.”

“He ain’t. Don’t let the positive demeanor fool ya. He’s not doin’ well at all. Take it easy on ‘im. Let ‘im take care of ya and once yer well, keep in touch. Josh ain’t got many friends.”

“I don’t even know-“

Joshua walked back into the room. “I’m sorry for running out on you. I had to take care of something important.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sanae said with a non-committal wave. “Me ‘n Neku’s been talkin’.”

“I bet. You were running your mouth, weren’t you?” Joshua teased, and he smiled at Neku.

The smile was so pure and so light that Neku felt terrible for being rude before. He attempted to return the smile but his chest hurt.

“So! You’ll be getting out later today. I should probably prepare for it. You don’t mind staying with me, do you? I know we aren’t well acquainted but-“

“I don’t mind,” Neku said softly. “But my family will be worried. Can I stop by there first?”

Joshua shook his head. “While you were unconscious I went to your…home…and I spoke with a man named Sho? He was worried for you.”

“How the hell do you know where I live?”

He blinked. “To be honest, Neku, I was worried for you. I followed you home in secret.”

“Every day?” Neku sat up, winced, and held his chest. “Every fucking day?”

“Please don’t be upset. I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Neku narrowed his eyes. He was about to curse the creepy guy out but a cough from Sanae made Neku swallow his words.

Joshua tilted his head down. “My apologies, Neku. I have made sure your family is well without you. I went grocery shopping with Sho and though I had to borrow a little money from my father we were able to get a few staples.”

“Why do you care?” Neku leaned into the pillows. The pain was getting worse.

Without warning, Joshua moved to the drip of medication and adjusted it. “There. That should help.”

“I don’t even know you. Why do you care?”

Joshua smiled sadly. “I know what it’s like to be without.”

A moment passed between them. Neku blinked. The medication flowed into his veins and he felt his arms go heavy and his consciousness slip a bit. “Hey…”

“Shh,” Joshua gently pressed him to the bed, “just rest. I’ll handle the paperwork and Sanae will help me get you home.”

Neku fought against sleep but he was exhausted.

The last thing he saw was Joshua turn away with a sad expression.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ugh, fuck my life.”

Neku awoke to curses. He sat up in Joshua’s bed with a start. It had been a couple weeks and he was still not used to being in a bed with a soft mattress. He’d been sleeping on the couch for years.

“I swear to God,” Joshua shouted at his laptop, “if you don’t stop freezing I’m going to end you.”

Neku laughed. He tried to hide it but Joshua must have heard him. The foul language stopped and Joshua peeked his head into the bedroom. His hair was fluffed up and pulled back into a short ponytail behind his right ear. Two pencils stuck out from the rubber band and a pair of reading glasses perched on Joshua’s nose.

“Are you alright, dear? Did you need something?”

He sounded angelic. Neku shook his head.

“I’m good.”

“Did I wake you?” Joshua entered the room and immediately began checking Neku’s forehead for a fever and his wrist for pulse. “You seem to be doing alright. Are you tired? Is it time to take your medicine?”

Neku slapped him away. “Stop mothering me.”

“You need mothering.” Joshua flicked him on the forehead. “Stop whining. I’ll go make you a cup of tea and bring you something to nibble on.”

“I told you, I’m fine.”

Joshua wasn’t buying it. He frowned at Neku and clicked his tongue. “Neku, Neku. You really are a stubborn individual.”

“I’m not-“ he stopped. Joshua had left the bedroom to enter the tiny kitchenette in the main room.

The apartment was small. It was too small for one person and practically squeezing for two. In the main living area there was a table to one side of the balcony door. Instead of couches or chairs, Joshua had boxes of paperwork and books stacked on top of each other. It looked like he hadn’t even moved in, but from the dust on the boxes Neku knew he’d been there a while.

Next to the main living space was the tiny bedroom Neku was holed up in. It had a bed with pink sheets and a dresser to the side that had a wonky drawer at the bottom. A tiny bathroom with a toilet and a shower was tucked away on the other side of the wall, next to the apartment entrance.

It was tiny, but it felt like a home.

“I have some green tea biscuits,” Joshua said as he came back into the bedroom, “and I made a pot of lemon tea. Lemon is good for your throat and digestion.”

Neku took the tray from Joshua and set it on his lap. He took a sip of the tea and sighed. Damn was Joshua good in the kitchen. Even with something as simple as tea.

“I want you to take a shower tonight.” Joshua dug around in his dresser. “You’ve been in that shirt for two days and it’s beginning to smell funny. I’ll be doing laundry tomorrow and-“

“Why do you care?”

Joshua froze. He tilted his head in curiosity. “Are you unhappy?”

“No, no, I’m far from it. I just,” he stared at the bowl of tea biscuits, “never had someone to worry over me as much as you are.”

“I told you. I know what it’s like to be without.” Joshua tossed a long t-shirt onto the sheets. “I hope my shirts aren’t uncomfortable.”

Neku looked down at the strawberry pink shirt he wore. It had little bunnies on it. “Yeah, no. It’s fine. I’m just not used to so much cute.”

“I can tell. Oh, that reminds me. I tried to wash your clothes and the gloves didn’t make it. I’ll get you some more.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

Joshua nodded. He began to speak again, but the same beeping as before called him away with a light apology on his lips.

It was too strange for Neku to leave it alone. He quietly set the tray to the side and inched toward the door to spy on Joshua.

The guy was standing with his back to the bedroom. There was a small box hanging from his belt with tubes leading to just under his ribcage. He had an odd vial and piece of equipment with a plunger in his hands. Unfortunately he turned away as he messed with the box and it beeped. Joshua threw the vial into the trash before wiping his hands on his trousers and pulling down his shirt.

Neku jerked back from the door and hurried into the bed to put the tray back on his lap.

What the hell was that? Is that what coffee guy meant by Joshua having problems?

“I have to go out,” Joshua called toward the bedroom. “You need a refill on your antibiotics and steroids. If you need me, call my cell phone. The number is next to the house phone on my desk.”

Neku called back, “yeah, okay.”

The door shut and Neku felt curiosity curl back into his stomach. He crawled back out of the bed and leaned over the trashcan. A small bottle sat beneath a couple pieces of wadded paper. Neku couldn’t help it and he pulled the bottle up to investigate.

Insulin? Didn’t people usually inject that stuff?

Neku dropped the vial. He’d never been good in science or health class. Hell, Neku had dropped out of school to try and make a living.

It suddenly felt wrong to investigate Joshua’s secrets. He wanted to make it up to Joshua even though the guy had no clue Neku was spying. Because of Joshua’s care, Neku did feel a lot better, and the apartment did need straightening. If he took it easy…

Neku smiled. He surveyed the mess.

If he hurried, he might be able to get at least the kitchen cleaned before Joshua returned.

It was the least he could do.

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Joshua hated to wait in line. He checked his watch, sighed, and tried not to think about having left Neku alone in his apartment. It wasn’t that he was afraid the guy would rob him, but Neku was stubborn enough to leave and return home. Joshua had tossed his clothes-they were only clothes in the most abstract sense-and he planned on surprising Neku with something more up to date.

His rainy day fund was depleting fast. If he kept it up, he’d need to ask his father for another loan.

Doctor Kiryu had been such a kind man to Joshua. The doctor wanted him to stay at home because of his health problems, but Joshua hated being a burden and he wanted to live a normal life.

“Next!”

Joshua looked up. There were two people in front of him.

He checked under his shirt to make sure his pump was still functioning. It was one of the better models because his father could get him into trials, but Joshua had problems with older models in the past. He tapped his foot, checked his watch again, and frowned.

Once he got to the front of the line he softened. He smiled and made small talk. The pharmacists knew him because of how often he came for his own medicine. He bowed and waved as he left the counter with a bag of medicine and several little treats. Joshua sighed. Why did everyone feel the need to be so kind to him?

The medicine rattled in their respective bottles as he walked down the street. He hummed to himself the song Neku sang most often. Joshua hadn’t heard it outside of Neku’s wailing voice, and he wondered if Neku had been writing his own music.. He hoped the guy would stay with him even after he was well. The abandoned metalworks wasn’t a good place to live. It was unsafe and filled with dirty air.

But Neku had referred to the others as his family. Joshua couldn’t deprive him of that.

He waited at the crossing. The people around him were clicking around on their phones and talking in rapid sentences. Joshua frowned. He didn’t have many connections. Sanae-his editor-was the only real friend he had outside of his large family. Doctor Kiryu and his wife were incredibly kind, and Joshua had several cousins, aunts, and uncles. There were his grandparents on both sides, and a few family friends who were considered family.

The crossing beeped and he walked with the crowd.

Home wasn’t far away. He hoped Neku was still there.

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The door opened while Neku was in the middle of scrubbing the kitchenette counter. He froze, waiting to be admonished by the blonde boy, but Joshua didn’t seem to notice.

“Hey, welcome home,” Neku said.

Joshua looked up. His face was flushed from the cold and he twirled his scarf from around his shoulders to hang over a chair. “What have you been up to?”

“I thought I should do something to thank you for taking care of me.” Neku finished cleaning the counter before removing the pair of rubber gloves he’d found under the sink. “Is it okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yes, thank you,” Joshua said. His expression was distant and his eyes were glassy.

Neku knew something wasn’t right. He narrowed his eyes as he watched Joshua settle in his chair.

“I need to finish my column,” the boy said, frowning at his laptop screen. “Oh, right, you’re medicine is in the bag on the door. Don’t forget to take the antibiotic with food. I could make you something-“

“You look like shit.”

Joshua blinked. He gave a tired smile. “I’m just sleepy.”

“No, no,” Neku argued, “you look sick. Are you cold? Hey, maybe I should make you something to eat or-“

“I’m fine, Neku. I get these spells,” he explained, “where I’m dizzy. It’s alright. I’m used to it.”

“Okay, if you say so,” Neku said, not at all convinced. “I’m keepin’ an eye on you.”

Joshua giggled. “Thank you. I appreciate it. Now, you need to be in bed.”

“I’m tired of being in bed. I’ll change the sheets and do some laundry if you want.”

“Only if you feel up to it,” Joshua yawned. “Thank you, Neku. I’m glad you stayed.”

Neku paused in entering the bedroom. “Hey, I owe you. I don’t like leavin’ debts unpaid.”

“I’ll order takeaway when you’re done.” Joshua focused on the screen and the blinking cursor at the end of a long paragraph. He seemed instantly absorbed into his work as he began to type.

“Yeah, okay,” Neku said. He entered the bedroom and began gathering up clothes and pulling the sheets from the bed to toss into a pile. The pillows smelled odd. Neku shrugged and pulled the pillowcases off before tossing both the pillow and the case into the pile. Joshua had a tiny washer in the kitchen, and an even smaller dryer. It would take a few hours to get all of the laundry done, but at least it would keep Neku busy.

He could hear Joshua mumbling as he typed. Neku smiled. It was kinda nice having someone outside of his family to be with.

“Neku, don’t over do it,” Joshua said suddenly. He continued to be transfixed with his work. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“I’ll be fine,” he assured, and carried an armload of clothes to the washing machine. It took Neku a few minutes to figure out how to use the machine. He hadn’t used one in years.

There was a thump. Neku rose to check on Joshua and he found him sleeping in his arms. The computer whirred and clicked, and the cursor on the screen continued to blink. Neku thought it was cute that Joshua was so sleepy. He went over to him to try and nudge Joshua to go to bed, even if there weren’t sheets on the mattress, but the guy didn’t wake.

Neku shook Joshua by his shoulders. “Hey, Josh.”

A mumble. Joshua didn’t open his eyes.

“Hey, Josh, c’mon,” Neku laughed, thinking he was being playful.

But his hand touched Joshua’s cheek and found it cold and clammy. Something was definitely not right and Neku was beginning to worry. He shoved Joshua and frowned when nothing happened.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Neku said, panicking a bit. The guy was sick but Neku had no idea with what and how to treat it. He grabbed Joshua’s phone, scanning the numbers next to it, and dialed the one at the top that said ‘Sanae Hanekoma’.

A gruff voice answered, “Yo, Josh-“

“It’s Neku, something’s wrong with Josh. He won’t wake up and he was acting strange and-“

“Fuck,” the man growled, “check his insulin pump. It’s that thing on his waistband. It might’a gotten confused and he’s gonna need a shot.”

Neku shook his head. He had no idea what to do.

“C’mon, kid,” the voice on the other end barked, “I’ll get over there in a bit but ya gotta do it.”

He yanked Joshua’s shirt up and looked at the box with lights and measurements. It had a red light on it and one of the tubes was half-filled with fluid. Neku explained it to Hanekoma and the man told him to look for a black kit next to Joshua’s bed. He didn’t want to leave Joshua’s side, but he had no choice. Neku hurried to find the black fabric box.

There were needles inside and vials of liquid. His hands were shaking as he read the note in the kit that said, “if needed, give shot in buttocks”.

Neku flinched. Hell no. He couldn’t do that.

Hanekoma called through the phone Neku had tucked between his ear and shoulder. “Kid, y’there?”

“Yeah, yeah. I can’t do this.”

“C’mon, he needs ya,” the man tried to soothe Neku with a calm voice but it didn’t help.

Neku went back to Joshua. He knelt down, pulled the tube from Joshua’s catheter as Hanekoma told him to, and he filled the syringe like he’d seen on television.

Pulling the edge of Joshua’s waistband down-shit he was skinny-Neku hesitated before jabbing it into the muscle and pushing the plunger.

It took several minutes for Joshua to start making noise. He complained in stumbling phrases and rolled his head off to the side of the desk in time to vomit into the trash. “What…what…”

“Hey, it’s okay. Hanekoma’s coming and you’ll be okay.”

Joshua wobbled in the chair. He leaned into Neku and slurred, “unplug.”

“I did. He told me to,” Neku said frantically. “Hey, stay with me.”

Lavender eyes stared straight into Neku’s soul. Joshua wobbled again and fell from the chair to topple Neku into the floor. He lay on top of Neku with a moan and Neku felt he couldn’t move. It frightened him to think he could hurt Joshua if he did something stupid. Instead, he jerkily brushed Joshua’s hair from his face and neck. The guy was barely hanging onto consciousness.

Hanekoma entered the apartment. He hurried to Joshua and picked him up in his arms. “Hey, wake up, kiddo. C’mon. Wake up.”

A groan. Joshua blinked his eyes open. He frowned at Hanekoma. “I’m tired.”

“Yeah, I know,” Hanekoma grinned, “you look like shit.”

“Thank you,” Joshua whispered, and leaned into Hanekoma. “Neku said so, too.”

“Wake up,” Hanekoma said, shaking Joshua. “I’m gonna get ‘im to the clinic. You stay ‘ere and I’ll call ya in a few.”

“I want to come-“

“Don’t. Josh hates fussin’.”

Neku folded his arms over his chest. “I’m coming later. I don’t care.”

The man didn’t argue. He left the apartment quickly and the sudden silence made Neku shiver.

What had happened? Did Neku help him?

Neku shook his head. He hurried to the bedroom to find something to wear.

There was no way in hell he was going to stay behind. Joshua didn’t. He owed it to him.

But inside, Neku felt less like it was a debt and more like it was something he should do because Joshua had become a friend.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The clinic was much quieter than the hospital had been. Doctor Kiryu had put Joshua in one of the back rooms where he could rest and recover from what Neku had been told was insulin shock. His pump had either malfunctioned, or he had accidentally pushed one of the buttons without eating first.

Neku had been too curious and he had asked Hanekoma what the hell had happened. The man sat with him and explained that Joshua had a hereditary disease. His pancreas didn’t work like it should, and it was the reason his parents dumped him at the clinic. Without medication and the pump, Joshua’s body couldn’t regulate and it sent him into shock.

It shortened his life. Neku didn’t want to think about it. Joshua was such a nice guy and to have a death sentence because he was born sick didn’t seem right.

But fairness, Neku had found, rarely had it’s place in life.

“Mm,” Joshua moaned. He turned his head to the side and snuggled into the pillow.

Neku waited expectantly for Joshua to wake. He leaned forward in his chair.

The boy opened his eyes. He looked around the room before his gaze caught on Neku. “I dreamed about you. Have you been here the whole time?”

“No, I had to find clothes first.” Neku smiled. He plucked at the sweater he wore. It was pink with a blue undershirt. The pants he wore were a little tight, but he refused to wear one of the skirts that fit. “I hope you don’t mind. Someone threw my clothes away.”

Joshua giggled. He sounded exhausted. “Thank you for saving me. I suppose we’re even now.”

“It’s a good thing I was there,” Neku said, scooting the chair closer to the bed. “If I believed in anything, I’d say it was fate.”

“I believe in a lot of things,” Joshua replied. “But fate isn’t one of them.”

“What happened?” Neku asked, changing the subject. He rose from the chair to adjust the blanket over Joshua and to smooth it out. “Hanekoma said you were in shock.”

“It happens. Usually my pump works fine but I think I kinked my cable. Or I forgot to charge it. Was the light red?”

Neku nodded. He couldn’t help but grab Joshua’s hand to give it a squeeze. “Are you going to die?”

“Huh?” Joshua blinked in confusion before laughing. “Not today. We all die eventually, however.”

“Maybe,” Neku threaded his fingers through Joshua’s,. “you should stay with your dad?”

Joshua shook his head and the mess of blonde hair fluttered over his eyes. “I don’t want to be a burden on him. He’s done so much for me.”

“That’s stupid. Am I a burden on you?”

“No, of course not.” Joshua tried to sit up but failed. “Whooo.”

Neku sighed. “If I’m not a burden to you, then you’re not a burden to your father. I know you probably think that because your parents abandoned you but you’re not a burden, Josh. You’re a good guy. If it hadn’t been for you I wouldn’t be here and hey, you bought groceries for my family.”

“Speaking of which,” Joshua managed to sit finally, “how are they your family?”

He didn’t want to answer but he knew so much about Joshua. “My parents died. I lived on my own for a bit but I ran out of money and my extended family lived too far away to take me in. I didn’t want them to worry so I just…quit school and started looking for simple jobs. I met Sho and Kariya, and they let me stay with them until I was old enough and I wanted to stay with them afterward. We take care of each other. Isn’t that what families do?”

Joshua closed his eyes and exhaled. “I don’t know. If that’s the definition of family, that makes you my brother and friend.”

The words made Neku’s heart swell. He grinned broadly. “Yeah. I can live with that.”

“I think I can, too,” Joshua replied, mirroring Neku’s smile. “I should be able to return home within a day or so. Father will probably want me to stay at his home for a while. He worries.”

Neku continued to hold Joshua’s hand. He felt connected. “Can I…can I stay with you?”

The boy appeared confused before nodding slowly. “If you really want to. I wouldn’t mind having a roommate. I could help you find a job. Hanekoma constantly needs people in the mailroom where he works. He’s one of the head editors at a publishing company here in the city.”

“A job? A real job?” Neku hadn’t had one of those for a while. Most people told him he was too dirty or he didn’t reflect the company’s ideals. “That’d be awesome!”

“I have a secret to tell you,” Joshua whispered, “Hanekoma is the famous writer CAT.”

Neku’s eyes went wide. He had read some of the guy’s books when he could afford to and if he could make it to the library on the weekends. CAT was one of his biggest inspirations for the music he wrote. “That’s freakin’ sweet.”

“Don’t tell him I told you,” Joshua warned. “It’s a secret between friends.”

He nodded enthusiastically. “Thanks. I don’t have any secrets to tell you, though.”

“That’s quite alright, Neku. Now, I need to get some sleep. I would like it if you stayed for a bit or you could return home.”

“I’m not leaving your side.”

Joshua’s eyes filled with happiness. He closed them to rest and soon his breathing evened out.

“I’m not leaving you,” Neku whispered, his hand continuing to hold Joshua’s.

It felt nice to have someone outside of his adopted family to call brother. From the sleeping expression on Joshua’s pale face, it must have felt nice to him, too.


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two – Vacation

 

It was Summer in Shibuya.

Neku hated the heat but at least the mailroom was in the basement of the publishing company. There were a few fans tucked into corners and he had one next to him on the sorting table. He wiped his forehead on his sleeve and returned to stacking mail into cubbies.

“Hey, Neku! Don’t forget to take your break!”

Masuoka-his boss-was extremely strict about overtime. The guy made sure all of the interns in the mailroom had a lunch break and two fifteens. Neku didn’t like breaks. He liked being busy.

But at least when he had lunch, he could sit and talk with either Joshua or Hanekoma. Joshua usually stayed at home writing, but he would call Neku and send texts throughout the day. The two of them had saved enough money to get a two bedroom apartment, and though Neku still felt a little guilty about leaving his family behind, he sent them money when he could.

“Neku, c’mon, don’t make me drag you to the break room!”

“Aight, Masuoka-san!”

He left his post and took his phone to the small break room with three tables and five vending machines. Neku popped a few coins into the soda machine and took a long drink. He dialed Joshua’s number and listened to the ringing before his roommate answered.

“Neku, how are you?  I hope you’re not eating noodles again.”

“Not yet. It’s only my fifteen,” he explained, sitting at one of the tables. There were stains on the surface and a scattering of pepper and salt. Neku was sure no one ever cleaned the break room.

“I’m going to make something good tonight. I’ll grill some chicken, broil some vegetables, and maybe we can even have a little dessert.”

Neku smiled. Joshua was on a strict diet and couldn’t eat many sugars or fats. But he’d learned to make a lot of things because of his health, and Neku had started to learn as well. He loved living with Joshua.

“Also, you got a package in the mail. I’m not sure what it is.” Joshua fumbled around in the background before returning to the phone. “It’s from…China?”

“Finally. I’ve been waiting on the model set for weeks.”

Joshua giggled. “You and your models. Is it hot there?”

“Unfortunately. I feel like I work in the seventh circle of hell,” he said. “But at least it’s work.”

“I’m glad you’re happy, Neku.” Joshua’s smile was evident in his voice. “Oh, shoot. I have to go. I’ll talk to you at lunch, alright?”

“Yep. It’s a date.”

Joshua said his goodbyes and hung up the phone. Neku stared at his cell phone for a moment before pocketing it. There was nothing romantic at all about their relationship. He enjoyed Joshua’s company and Joshua enjoyed his. Not only that, but Joshua’s father was pleased there was someone to watch his son.

Tossing the empty drink container into the trash, Neku returned to the mailroom to melt.

He couldn’t wait until closing time. It meant being with Joshua.

\-----------------------------------------------------

“Oh, look, he’s happy.”

Joshua peered into the small aquarium they’d bought for the apartment. It had one fish in it and several fake plants. Neku had bought a pirate chest and skull for the fish to hide in.

“Did you feed him?” Neku asked, sitting at a table with a variety of paints scattered over it.

“I fed him earlier,” Joshua replied. He continued staring into the tank.

It was a couple weeks into Summer. Joshua had finished one book and was in the process of editing it with Hanekoma on the side. He still wrote articles for him, and all three were doing well. Joshua settled at his desk but continued to watch the fish.

Neku looked at him. “Is he going to write the blog or are you?”

“Oh, right.” Joshua turned his attention to the computer. “Dear Joshua, I have a friend who is very unhappy in her home life. I don’t know what to do because she doesn’t tell me anything.”

“A friend, huh?” Neku clicked his tongue. “Poor kid.”

“You are also a kid, Neku.”

“I’m twenty three, Josh,” he argued playfully. “Even though you’re older than me by a year it doesn’t mean I’m a kid.”

Joshua giggled and began typing his response. He worked on the advice column slash blog with two other writers, Shiki and Eri. They were a cute couple of girls who were more than friends. Joshua had hung out with them in the past and they constantly tried to get Neku and him to kiss. It was a waste of time, though, since Joshua felt nothing but familial affection for the guy.

“We should go on vacation.”

He looked up from the keyboard. “Why?”

“I read something the other day about Naoshima Island. It’s got all sorts of art museums and cultural centers. I know how much you like art.”

Joshua shrugged. “It wouldn’t be a day trip. It’s too far away.”

Neku didn’t say anything at first. He continued painting one of his many unfinished models. “Well, I’ve been saving up and I want to take you to a nice hotel. It’s your birthday soon, isn’t it?”

He’d completely forgotten. He didn’t like celebrating his birthday, since it reminded him of his parents and he would rather celebrate the day he was adopted by his Father. “It’s not important.”

“It is to me,” Neku said. He set his model down and wiped his hands on a cloth. “I want to treat you. If it wasn’t for you I’d still be living in the streets.”

Joshua shook his head. “You don’t owe me anything, Neku.”

“I’m not talking about owing you. I want to do it because I like you.”

“You’re not going to let it go, are you?” Joshua twisted in his chair to fully gaze at Neku.

Neku smiled. His teeth were still as coffee stained as they’d been a year prior. “The reservations are non-refundable. You have to go.”

It made Joshua nervous but he nodded yes. Neku made a sound of triumph and Joshua laughed before returning his attention to the article.

He hadn’t had a vacation in years. Perhaps it was time.

\-----------------------------------------------------

The hotel Neku had picked out wasn’t much but he figured they wouldn’t be spending much time in the tiny one bed room. There were beaches and restaurants to go to, and he had planned an entire week of museums and relaxation for Joshua.

Speaking of which, his friend was standing in the window of their hotel room, gazing out over the beach not too far away. His hand was on the glass and he had a strange expression.

It was almost peaceful. Neku had never seen a look like that on Joshua’s face. It made Neku smile as he unpacked both Joshua’s and his suitcase. There wasn’t much-a couple changes of clothes, toiletries, and a small bag with medication. Not only did Joshua have his insulin and enzymes, but since the bout of pneumonia Neku had, he was given an inhaler. There were times the air was so sticky he couldn’t breathe deep enough.

Neku was sure, however, that the air near the beach was much cleaner than in the city.

“Hey, Neku,” Joshua said, not turning from the window, “have you ever swam before?”

“Uh,” he tried to remember the short time with his parents, “I don’t think so. Why?”

Joshua turned. The sunlight caressed his face and he smiled softly. “I want to go swimming.”

“Can you?” Neku glanced at the box on Joshua’s waistband. “Won’t that get wet?”

“I can disconnect it for a couple of hours. I’ll be fine. Seeing the ocean,” he sighed, traced a shape on the window, and began gazing out at the ocean again, “makes me happy. I want to feel it on my skin.”

Neku shrugged. If Joshua thought it was safe, he couldn’t argue. “Do you have a pair of shorts?”

“Oh, right. I completely forgot. We can get some here, I’m sure.” Joshua crossed the room to stand in front of Neku before throwing his arms around Neku’s shoulders. “Thank you for this.”

“It’s what friends are for, right? And we haven’t even left the room yet. You’re going to be so pampered by the end of this.” Neku put an arm around Joshua. It felt nice to be held. “You’ve got no idea.”

Joshua leaned back, took Neku by the hands, and smiled. “First things first, we should get something to eat. Do you like sushi?”

“Hells yeah,” Neku said without hesitation. He peeked around Joshua. “But don’t forget your enzymes, okay?”

“I know, I know,” Joshua grumbled. “I’ve been taking them for years.”

Neku nodded. He pulled away from Joshua, checked his pockets for his wallet and the keycard to the hotel room. Standing near the door he waited for Joshua to join him and they left the tiny room arm in arm.

For some reason, Neku found Joshua to be a bit more touchy feely than normal, and though it was weird it didn’t bother Neku. They were as close as twin brothers-two halves made whole by touch.

“Neku, thank you again. I haven’t been on vacation since I was a child with father. Even then,” he paused as they walked down a small staircase, “it was to conventions. Mother and I would go shopping while father talked to people in his profession.”

“I never really got away from Shibuya. I’m a little nervous.”

“Don’t be nervous,” Joshua said, throwing his arms wide as they stepped out of the hotel. “I’m here with you in paradise and we’ll be so busy you won’t have time to think about nerves!”

Neku smiled. “Yeah.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

Two days into their vacation, they decided to forgo the museums to spend a day shopping and an evening on the beach. Joshua had swam both days at the end of their scheduled fun, and now he wanted to spend a little money for souvenirs. Sanae would need something, so would Masuoka, and he couldn’t forget Neku’s family.

“I don’t know,” Neku said, looking at a row of snow globes and coffee cups, “would Hanekoma like these things? He’s kind of a cat nut.”

Joshua giggled. He picked a cup from the shelf that had a leaping cat on it. Underneath the cat it said, ‘Nyaoshima Island’. “What about this?”

“Oh my God,” Neku laughed, “you have to get it. He’ll think it’s hilarious.”

“What about Kariya? Do you think he’d like a shirt?”

Neku snorted. Over the year he had spent with Joshua, he managed to help his family find stable employment and a cheap place to stay. “Knowing him, he’d like candy. Sho I’m not sure. He’s weird.”

“Yes, but he’s super intelligent,” Joshua said. “Too bad they don’t carry calculators.”

“They do have ink pens and pencil sets.”

Joshua made a face. “I’m not sure that would be a proper gift. What about Higs? We could get him a monogrammed apron.”

He couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the idea. Higashizawa was a huge man. There’d be no way he could fit one of the aprons. But the idea was cute and he shrugged. “Why the hell not?”

“Yay,” Joshua said, and went to the counter to pay for his spoils.

Neku remained behind to look, and he idly played with the shirts and hats. Being with Joshua the past two days made Neku realize how important he’d become. A terrible thought popped into his head and he shook it away. Joshua was fine. He’d just been to the doctor for a checkup not too long before. The doctor had given him a good score and told him to keep doing what he had been.

At least, that’s what Joshua told him. The guy sometimes fudged things so Neku wouldn’t worry.

“C’mon, Neku,” Joshua called from the front. He waved his hand and smiled. “It’s almost time to eat lunch and I want to get something special.”

Neku threw his worries away and hurried to join Joshua.

It was the perfect day of the perfect week.

\-----------------------------------------------------

The sun was setting on the beach but the lights from the little shops and huts on the boardwalk kept the beach under a soft glow. There was music and laughter, and the air was fresh and salty. Joshua was happily lounging in one of the many beach chairs under a red and white umbrella. He glanced to his side to see Neku playing on his phone, a fruity drink sitting next to him on a short table. They were old enough to drink and though Joshua didn’t like alcohol as much as the next guy, he wanted to live it up. He’d ordered a fuzzy navel and the peachy drink sat warm in his tummy.

It really was paradise to Joshua. He didn’t have to think about his health, and he didn’t have to worry about the next article or chapter in his next book. Closing his eyes, he exhaled and inhaled the sweet, salty air.

He had received a bit of news at his last visit to the doctor but he didn’t want to worry Neku. The boy worried for him constantly as it was. He checked up often and made sure Joshua had his medication on time and that he would remember to charge his insulin pump. It wasn’t important anyway.

Well, it was, but it wasn’t.

Joshua opened his eyes and stared out at the ocean waves lapping at the sandy shore. He turned to Neku again and flinched when he saw the boy’s blue eyes on him. “What?”

“You look happy,” Neku said, “but you’ve got that crinkle in your forehead. What’s wrong?”

He rubbed at his forehead as if the crinkle were a thing to be wiped away. “Nothing is wrong, I was just thinking about home.”

Neku reached out to squeeze Joshua’s hand. “Hey, no thinking about home while we’re here.”

“Of course,” Joshua replied. He continued to hold Neku’s hand as he closed his eyes to rest.

The next thing he knew, he was dreaming about the future, and it didn’t revolve around a location or a place at all. It was Neku, and the dream made Joshua’s chest feel warm.

\-----------------------------------------------------

The end of the week came faster than they’d wanted. Neku especially. He hated the thought of taking Joshua back to the somewhat grimy city and back to the busy world of blogging. Somehow they had far too much stuff to put in their suitcases, and Neku was forced to buy a new carryon bag for the leftover things. He blamed Joshua for buying souvenirs and clothes.

“Do you have everything?” Joshua held a checklist in his hand. “I think we have everything. Do you want to do another once over?”

“Josh, the room is too small for us to forget something. I can literally reach opposite walls in the bathroom without stretching my arms.”

Joshua stuck his tongue out. “It’s not that small. But alright. I believe our train leaves in half an hour. We should hurry if we want to make it.”

“You’re the one holding us up,” Neku teased. He shouldered the carryon bag and tugged the suitcase with squeaky wheels behind.

“Thank you for this week, Neku,” Joshua said. It had been the hundredth time he had. “I really appreciate it.”

“Stop thanking me.” Neku threw a grin over his shoulder. “You’ve got nothing to thank me for.”

Joshua sighed. “Alright, alright. Do you think it’ll be okay to sleep on the train?”

“You did on the way up. You’ve been tired lately. You okay?”

“Huh? Never better. I’m sure it’s just the summer heat. I’ll take a nap on the train and be just fine by the time we get home. Sanae has already texted me to make sure we’re coming. He said he had something planned for the both of us.”

“Really? Neat.” Neku waved at the people behind the front desk before leaving the hotel. It wouldn’t take long to get on the train. It was very close-which was why the hotel was cheap-and they had already bought their tickets.

Joshua lagged behind, giving sad looks at some of the places they had been. Neku made a mental note to save more money for next year.

The train was bustling with tourist and they just managed to get to their seat before the train began to move toward Shibuya. It was an eight hour ride and for most of it, Neku played on his phone while Joshua slept on his shoulder. They wouldn’t reach Shibuya until late, but Hanekoma had insisted they come by the publishing company for a special treat.

Neku could tell Joshua was exhausted. His eyes were dark and his skin a bit more pale than usual. But his voice remained cheery when he woke to get off the train. He seemed bothered by something, and he kept giving Neku glances when he thought Neku wasn’t looking.

There wasn’t anything Neku could do about it. They took the suitcases home, had a change of clothing and a bit of freshening up, and within the hour they were back on the street. Thankfully the publishing company wasn’t too far away. Joshua didn’t look up to a long walk.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I told you,” Joshua yawned, “I’m just tired. I wonder what Sanae has up his sleeves?”

Neku shrugged. “No telling with that guy.”

“Well, I for one, am excited. I’m hoping it’s a raise or a promotion.”

“Yeah, okay. When has he ever not been a yen pincher?” Neku put his arm around Joshua’s shoulders and gave him a playful shake. “Did the sun cook your brain?”

Joshua giggled. He put his arm around Neku’s waist and they walked like that until they reached their destination.

Most of the staff had gone home for the day, but Sanae didn’t like going home. He thrived in his corner office surrounded by plants and coffee. His office was on the thirty-second floor with his fellow editors and CEOs. The elevator ride took forever in Neku’s mind, but they made it to a dark hallway with one light on at the end of the hall.

“He’s burning the midnight oil again.” Joshua clicked his tongue. “What am I going to do with that man?”

“He’s just lonely,” Neku offered. “He doesn’t have anyone to go home to.”

“Perhaps we should move in with him.”

“Hell, no,” Neku grumbled. “I’m not living with him.”

Joshua smiled. He tugged Neku down the hall and stood before the cracked open door to knock.

“Oi, c’mon in,” Hanekoma’s voice called.

Neku took a deep breath, pushed the door open, and peered inside to see the editor behind a stack of papers with even more papers in his hands. He was staring at the paper with a critical look.

“Sanae, what is this about?” Joshua always got straight to the point. He took a seat in one of the chairs in front of the desk and crossed one leg over the other. “We’re tired.”

“So am I,” the man said. He slapped the papers down on the desk. “Neku, come sit.”

Oh shit.

“Am I in trouble? I took all of my breaks like Masuoka said to and-“

Joshua sighed. “Just sit down.”

He did, albeit shaking.

The man behind the desk folded his hands together and gave the two of them a stern look. He stared at Joshua for several seconds before staring at Neku for several more. It was nerve-wracking and Neku wanted to hear something, anything, so long as it wasn’t you’re fired.

“I’m got some news fer ya boys,” he said, expression blank. “Josh, yer book is doin’ great. It’s gonna be a bestseller and you’ve got an interview scheduled for next week.”

“That’s wonderful!” Joshua hugged Neku and shook him excitedly.

“Now, now, calm down. Neku,” Hanekoma smiled, “you’re getting’ a promotion. It’s not much, but the higher ups have praised your excellent sortin’ skills. They’ve not had one thing misrouted since ya started on that floor. They want ta make you an intern under Masuoka. He’s wantin’ ta move up.”

“A manager? Really?” Neku’s hands trembled. “You’re serious?”

“Yep. The higher ups wanted to tell ya, but I offered since yer my guys.”

Joshua was grinning large enough to tear his face in half. “Thank you, Sanae. This is great news to return from vacation on.”

“I thought you’d like it. Now, let’s go celebrate. Drinks on me!”

“Uh,” Neku gave Joshua a worried look, “are you up for that?”

Joshua waved his hands. “I’m fine. A few drinks won’t hurt.”

“It’s settled then. You start yer new job on Monday,” Sanae said, coming around the desk to shake Neku’s hand. “You’ve been an asset.”

“Thanks! I’ll do my best.”

The editor dragged them to a bar around the corner and they spent the night in boisterous laughter and drunken singing surrounded by people doing the same.


	3. Chapter 3

Part Three - Closure

 

Hangovers were never easy. Neku felt his head throb as he squeezed his eyes shut and buried his head into the fluff of his pillow. Something felt off, but he wasn’t sure exactly what it was.

At least, until the bed wiggled under him.

He turned his head toward the movement and the fog in his brain lifted just enough for him to begin panicking. Joshua was in the bed with him.

Repeat. Joshua was in the bed with him.

Neku attempted to pull away but Joshua curled around him with a mumble. It made Neku slightly less sick at his stomach to see both of them still had their clothes on. He felt another wiggle and it stabbed in his head like a migraine when he realized it wasn’t Joshua.

“Fuck me,” Hanekoma’s gruff voice came from the opposite side of Neku. “Shit, kid. What the hell.”

“I don’t know-“ He whipped his head around and instantly regretted it as a wave of nausea hit.

The editor lay without a shirt on and his pants were unzipped.

“Oh, shit, what the hell happened?” Neku began to shout. He kicked his legs and tried to pull away from both of them but the bed was only so big.

Joshua woke up from the commotion. He was grinning stupidly until he saw where he was. “Oh, fuck me sideways with a stick. What did we do?”

“I don’t think we did anything,” Hanekoma said. He sat up, rubbed his face, and slapped his cheeks. “I feel like shit.”

Neku scrambled over Joshua to fall into the floor. He pointed at Hanekoma and blubbered, “your pants are unzipped. Oh, my God, what.”

“We didn’t do anything,” Joshua yawned. “I have all of my clothes on. You have yours, and Sanae, just likes to sleep naked because he’s an old guy.”

“Hey,” the editor barked. “I can always move yer deadline up.”

“I doubt you can move anything at all.”

“Yeah, I agree wit’ ya.” Hanekoma flopped back down on the bed with a moan. “I need a stiff drink and a lot of coffee.”

Joshua shook his head. He pulled his shirt up to check his insulin pump. “I need a refill soon.”

“Do you want me to get it?” Neku needed something to keep his mind busy. “Yeah, I’ll go get it and I’ll make some coffee-stout coffee.”

Hanekoma’s mumbling reply was, “Make mine a double.”

The morning sun screamed into the apartment until Neku threw the curtains shut. He turned on Joshua’s desk lamp and entered the kitchenette to start a pot of coffee. Once it began to drip, he grabbed Joshua’s insulin kit from a drawer and carried it to him.

He was up and getting changed. The shirt he wore was pink and trimmed with lace, and the pants he attempted to put on were actually Neku’s. He seemed to notice after several failed attempts to button them and he growled as he dropped them.

“Here, Josh,” Neku said, handing him the kit. “Just take it slow.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he replied, bitingly. His eyes were drowsy and his skin flushed from sleep. “If I wake up I might make you two some eggs.”

“I don’t want-“ Neku started to argue, but Joshua’s phone began to ring in the other room. “Shit, I’ll get that, okay?”

Joshua wobbled and waved him away.

The phone sounded like wailing to Neku’s sore head. He picked it up, swallowed against the cotton in his throat, and answered, “Kiryu residence.”

“Neku! It’s nice to know you’re back from your vacation.”

It was Joshua’s father. Neku smiled.

“Yeah, we had a good time. Probably too good.”

“It’s always nice to get away. I’m calling for Joshua, is he in?”

Neku peeked over his shoulder to see Joshua fumbling with a skirt. “He’s getting dressed.”

“I’m calling to make sure he’s going to be at his next appointment. It’s Tuesday at eight in the morning and he’ll want to bring something to do. Chemotherapy does take a few hours.”

“Chemotherapy?” Neku’s fuzzy head started to clear. “Wait. What?”

“Didn’t he tell you?” A pause, a noise of regret. “I’m sorry, Neku. He has a mass on his liver.”

Neku’s head spun. “Can’t they just cut that out?”

“He’s currently too weak to have surgery but we’ll give him the best care we can. I know the oncologist and-“

“Uh, yeah, can we talk later? I mean, this is a lot to take in and Josh didn’t say anything.”

“It’s alright. Talk it over with him and I’ll check in later.”

“Thanks, Kiryu-san.”

He hung up the phone.

In the doorway of the bedroom Joshua stood frozen. “I didn’t want you to know.”

“Didn’t want me to know?” Neku felt anger rise in his chest but he held back. It wasn’t Joshua’s fault that he had cancer and it wasn’t his fault he didn’t want to worry anyone. Neku curled his hands into fists and he slowly relaxed. “Josh, I’m sorry.”

“That,” he came to stand in front of Neku, “is why I didn’t want you to know.”

“Hey,” Neku carded a hand through Joshua’s hair, “it’s okay. I’m not pitying you. I care about you and I want to be there for you no matter what.”

Joshua touched his hair. “It’s all going to fall out.”

“Then I’ll shave my head. I can always wear a hat. And hey,” Neku titled Joshua’s head up by his chin, “you love hats. We can get you some beanies and-“

Trembling arms wrapped around Neku’s neck as Joshua squeezed him tight in a hug. He began to cry softly against Neku’s shoulder.

Neku couldn’t do anything. He held Joshua and rocked back and forth to calm him while Hanekoma stood in the doorway to the bedroom with a frown and a helpless look.

“We’re going to get through this. I’m not going to let you die.”

A broken laugh vibrated against his collarbone. “I don’t think you can control death, Neku, dear.”

“If you die, I’m going to find the reaper responsible and beat the shit out of them.”

Joshua laughed again despite the tears in his eyes. He wiped them away and giggled. “I believe you. And if you don’t, Sanae will step on them.”

“I’ll crush their head in with a book,” the editor said with a sly grin. “It’ll be okay, kiddo.”

The mood lifted when Joshua clapped his hands and said, “I have nothing to worry about with my two favorite people by my side.”

Neku smiled. He reached out for Joshua’s hands and they stood quietly for far too little time.

\-----------------------------------

It didn’t take long for Joshua’s hair to start falling out. Neku felt terrible for him because-though Joshua said it was alright and expected-he could see the pain in Joshua’s eyes. He was embarrassed and sick, and he often spent the days after his treatment in bed. Neku would make him light food to eat, and on Joshua’s better days he would make sure the guy had three meals under his belt.

When Neku was at work, he often dropped Joshua off at his parents house. There had been talk about the two of them moving in with Joshua’s parents, but it was just talk. Joshua enjoyed his freedom despite his failing health and Neku didn’t want to take it from him.

He hated seeing his friend suffer. There wasn’t anything Neku could do about it but be supportive and as caring as possible. He would buy hats for Joshua and take him to the park to sit and enjoy the weather on sunny days. Neku would hold Joshua up when he was too tired to sit. If Joshua felt like writing but couldn’t move much, Neku would transcribe for him.

It was a strange relationship. Neku often thought about how he might not have met Joshua if it wasn’t for Joshua’s writers block and Neku’s terrible singing. They were unconnected people in the city of Shibuya until just the right moment found them crossing paths. Neku smiled at the memory.

Joshua was in bed, leaning against two pillows as he typed a blog post about the things he was going through and how to live with it. “What are you grinning for?”

“I’m just remembering us meeting at Hachiko.” Neku reached out to adjust the pillow and to wipe a bit of sweat from Joshua’s forehead and upper lip. “Are you feeling okay?”

“As well as to be expected for someone being slowly poisoned. The doctor said the mass is beginning to shrink but he’s worried about my weight.” Joshua sighed, scratched his chest, and frowned. “I don’t understand how they expect me to eat. It isn’t as if I can force feed myself.”

Neku drew his hand through Joshua’s hair. “Are you hot?”

“No, I’m alright.” Joshua shook his head. “To be honest I could go for a steak dinner but I’m afraid if I eat it, it’ll go to waste.”

“I could make you some broth,” Neku offered. He stroked his fingers over Joshua’s arm.

“Oh, yes. Nothing says dinner like a bowl of beef broth.”

Neku laughed. “You’re being difficult.”

“I blame the cancer,” he teased. “If you don’t mind, I would like to have something to eat.”

“Broth and mashed potatoes?”

Joshua nodded. “Maybe later I can stomach a little rice.”

“One fine dinner coming up,” Neku said. He popped up from the chair and went to the kitchenette to begin boiling a pot of beef broth. The potatoes were instant and took about two minutes to make. There were crackers in the cabinet and some wafers in what they called the snack drawer. Neku dug around for them and put a few into a small bowl to take to Joshua.

He entered the bedroom and smiled. Joshua was leaned back into the pillows with his eyes closed and his lips parted.

“Are you with me?” Neku whispered.

There wasn’t a response. Neku set the wafers on the bedside table to pull the laptop away. He closed it to sleep and carried it back to the living room to plug it up. In the bedroom he heard a mumble and the sound of wafers being munched.

“It’s going to rain soon,” Joshua said between bites.

Neku said nothing. He returned to the kitchen to cook.

The rain always brought Joshua peace.

\-----------------------------------

The restaurant Neku had picked for his third date with Rhyme wasn’t much. It was a hole in the wall they both had an affinity for, and because their relationship was still in the beginning stages, her brother came along. Because of his presence, Neku thought it would be a good idea to drag Joshua out with them if he was feeling up to it.

Not only was he, but he dressed to the nines in a white button up with a flared collar, a pink pullover sweater, and a grey skirt that went to his knees. He looked professional, but the pink beanie on his head and the cat stockings said otherwise.

“Do I look alright?” Joshua asked. He was putting on a pair of dangling earrings. “I mean, I know it’s your date but I want to be presentable.”

“Josh,” Neku laughed, “you could be in your pajamas and I’d still think you were presentable.”

“Aren’t you cute?”

“I think you’re the cute one.”

Joshua giggled and turned away to fluff his hair.

It wasn’t as fancy as Joshua, but Neku decided to wear a pair of slacks and a dark blue button up. He had a couple piercings in his left ear-something he’d done to celebrate Joshua’s milestones-and a chain and leather choker around his neck. It had been a gift from Rhyme.

A knock on the door caused them both to turn. Behind it they could hear Beat’s jovial voice.

“Yo, you in there?”

“We’ll be right out, Beat,” Neku called back. “The door’s open though.”

He busted in like a rhino. “Rhyme’s a’waitin’.”

Joshua smiled, stepped forward, and offered his hand. “Nice to meet you, Beat.”

He paled before flushing. Beat took Joshua’s hand and shook it tremblingly. “Yeah, uh, you a girl? I thought you’s was a guy.”

“I am a guy,” Joshua explained, “but I do enjoy dressing up from time to time.”

“You’re a skinny one,” Beat said, curling his fingers around Joshua’s wrist. “Man, I’m afraid I’mma break you or something.”

Neku laughed. “Beat, be nice. He’s-“

“It’s alright. Perhaps you could be my knight in shining armor tonight? I won’t break if you’re protecting me, will I?”

Beat stammered, “yeah, uh, I can do that.”

“Good.” Joshua curled his arm around Beat’s. “Let’s not keep Rhyme waiting, hm?”

Neku wasn’t far behind them. He had to admit the two of them were cute together.

\-----------------------------------

Another year passed uneventfully. Joshua had begun to go into remission and he was happy for it. The weight he had lost was coming back and his hair was slowly growing in small patches and clumps. He kept it trimmed short.

His publishing career had taken off mostly because of his blog, but also because he had written another book that became a best seller. The money certainly helped with the hospital bills, and he had enough to gift to Neku the second he heard his friend mention wedding.

Rhyme and Neku were engaged. Joshua had helped pick out the ring and he was there in the background with Beat when she said yes. It was odd how their little family was growing. Not only did Neku and Rhyme love each other, but Joshua had been courting Beat and they were talking about having a double wedding if only Beat could find a ring.

“I told you,” Joshua said, sitting next to Beat on their favorite bench in the park, “I don’t care what it looks like as long as it comes from you.”

“But I want it to be special.” Beat fumbled with his beanie. He had started wearing it more often around Joshua. “I mean, I gotta get something to show how much I love you.”

Joshua slid his slender fingers through Beat’s messy blonde hair. “You could make me a ring out of ribbon and I would still love it.”

“I’mma get a silver one.”

The sudden admittal confused Joshua. “Why silver?”

“It’s pure. Like, I read it’s one of the purest metals. An’ I want it to reflect our relationship.”

Warmth swelled within Joshua’s chest. He wrapped his arms around Beat’s middle and snuggled up to him with a kiss. “You’re a doll, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Beat said, nervously.

Joshua sat back up but kept one hand on Beat’s. “Neku and Rhyme should be coming soon. Today is the day I hear whether or not I’m completely cancer free. I want all of you to be there when I hear the news. Well, at least in the waiting room. I don’t think the doctor would like four people in a tiny exam room.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, J.” Beat shyly touched Joshua’s face. “I’mma make sure if that cancer comes back I’ll punch it in the face.”

“Neku said the same thing once,” Joshua giggled. “I’m glad I have such an amazing family.”

Beat laughed. He turned his head when he heard his sister in the distance, and he waved his arms and shouted for them to come over.

The appointment was at eleven o’clock and Joshua squirmed.

\-----------------------------------

One of the things Joshua hated the most was hearing good news and bad news.

Good news, his cancer was completely in remission.

Bad news, the chemotherapy had taken a toll on his body and he would need to be put on a transplant list. Apparently the chemo had damaged his kidneys and he would need a new one.

Joshua listened to the doctor remotely. He was zoned out and his ears were ringing.

A transplant. Who could give him a kidney? Joshua was sure Neku wasn’t compatible. Rhyme was too weak and Beat he wasn’t sure about. His only other friend was Sanae, and the man was far too unhealthy to help since he smoked and drank so much.

The doctor’s voice came back into clarity. “…and I’ll give you some paperwork to explain the process and if you have anyone you might know who could offer their kidney we could…”

Joshua shook his head. He was confused and frightened. If his kidneys started to shut down he would need more treatment and at this point he wasn’t sure if he had the energy to fight off death. For the longest he did it for Neku and then he did it for Beat, but he was tired. What if all of this was for nothing?

What if he died anyway? Why struggle if-

“Joshua, are you listening?”

He looked up at the doctor. “Yes, sir. I’m sorry. It’s just overwhelming.”

“I can give you a referral to a therapist if you’d like.”

Joshua laughed. “No, no. I’m quite alright. Thank you for your time. I have to go explain this to my family and friends. I don’t know how.”

The doctor patted his shoulder. “Just be honest. That’s the best advice I give to all of my patients.”

“Yes, of course. Thank you,” he said again, and took the paperwork.

Joshua hesitated. All of his friends were gathered in the waiting room and he felt sick at heart.

But they loved him. They wouldn’t let him go through it alone.

He took a deep breath and left the doctor’s office.

\-----------------------------------

How many years had it been that they were friends?

Neku wasn’t sure. He felt like it had been an eternity with Joshua, but it had only been four, maybe five years? No, it was six. Yeah.

The apartment was empty and Neku was giving it a once over to make sure he hadn’t forgotten a single memory inside. He wished Joshua could be there, standing with him, gazing out over the short time they had been together. Neku was married now, and Rhyme was expecting their first child. They’d just found out it was a boy and Neku couldn’t have been happier.

“Are you ready?”

Neku turned to see his wife in the doorway. “Yeah. I think we got everything.”

“Good. It’s kind of sad, isn’t it?” She wheeled into the apartment to look around. “So much happened inside of these walls.”

“Yeah,” Neku surveyed the living area, “it’s sad to leave it all behind.”

“Everything will be okay, I’m sure.” Rhyme reached out to tug on Neku’s hand. “We should get going or brother will be worried. Our train leaves in a few hours.”

Neku nodded. He leaned down to peck his wife’s lips with a gentle kiss. His hands curled around the handles of her wheelchair and he pushed her from the apartment with one last glance over his shoulder.

The train ride to Naoshima Island was eight hours long. He hoped they could make it there in time for sunset on the beach, but he had his doubts. Rhyme drowsed on the trip down but Neku couldn’t relax. He stared out of the window and watched the world go by. It felt longer than eight hours but eventually, right before sunset, they made it to the station. He gathered their belongings and helped Rhyme off of the train.

The house they had bought was near the ocean. Neku remembered hanging out with Joshua on their vacation and the happiness they’d shared. It was bittersweet and he smiled.

Beat was supposed to come by and pick them up. He was late-as usual-but as the sun dipped below the horizon and the lights of the station lit up the area. Neku could hear the beeping of a car horn and he turned to see the beat up Toyota.

“Hey!” Neku waved and shouted. He smiled when Beat exited the car, and his smile broadened when he saw two passengers exit.

Joshua and his adopted baby girl.

The five of them were about to start a new life in the one place they were most happy.

No, Neku thought, where they were most happy wasn’t a place.

It was with his family.


End file.
